From Burnout to Balance: Holiday Support for Family Caregivers
When the Holidays Don’t Feel So Merry
For most families, the holidays mean joy, connection and tradition. For family caregivers of individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities (I/DD), the season can also mean dysregulation, exhaustion and emotional whiplash.
“Once my sons come home from college, everything in our house shifts,” says Clay, a father caring for his 19-year-old daughter with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD). “The noise level goes up. Her routine gets disrupted. Sleep and diet go out the window. And her expectations—around gifts, family gatherings, everything—can become sky-high and hard to manage.”
In Kansas City and beyond, caregivers are navigating this same balancing act: keeping the season joyful while protecting their loved one’s emotional well-being and their own.
The Signs of Caregiver Burnout (and Why It Peaks Now)
Burnout isn’t always loud. Often, it looks like quiet fatigue. Like walking through the holidays numb, tense or detached. Common signs include:
Exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix
Feeling short-tempered or isolated
Mental fog or forgetfulness
Guilt over not “doing enough”
The holidays tend to amplify these feelings. Routines disappear. Schedules shift. Extended family arrives—with opinions, assumptions, and sometimes minimal understanding of I/DD realities.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone—and you’re not doing anything wrong. Caregiving is a full-time job, especially during high-stress seasons.
Don’t Go At It Alone: Systems of Support That Help
Support isn’t a luxury. It’s the lifeline that keeps families steady.
We exist to help caregivers in the Kansas City area find that lifeline. Whether it’s through eitas-funded respite care, behavioral supports, or help navigating services, we connect families to resources that bring balance back into their homes.
“Each individual has a unique circumstance, so support can look different from person to person,” says Sam Stepp, the Community Resources Coordinator at eitas. “Sometimes it’s connecting someone to activities they love; other times it’s support with day-to-day needs, job opportunities or programs.”
Sam’s team focuses on opening doors—especially for families who don’t have Medicaid or who feel unsure where to begin. “Community outreach helps people get connected to community-based resources. The sky is the limit.”
And often, the most meaningful support is helping someone pursue what matters to them. “My favorite is when someone has an interest, dream or goal, and I get to help them connect—art lessons, music, sports. It’s always exciting.”
Caregivers deserve partners who walk beside them.
“We don’t know what we don’t know,” Sam says. “One of the biggest challenges caregivers face is that information isn’t readily available. Eitas can serve as a beacon—helping families find activities, transportation, affordable housing resources and more.”
Because when caregivers are supported, families can thrive — not just during the holidays, but all year long.
Working With Extended Family (Instead of Around Them)
Caregivers often feel the pressure to keep things “normal” for everyone else. But real inclusion means pulling extended family into the story—educating them, equipping them, and helping them show up well.
Here are a few ways to do that:
Prepare them ahead of time — Let family know what to expect, and what support looks like. Clarity beats conflict.
Delegate specific roles — Ask someone to run interference when things escalate, or help manage transitions.
Adjust expectations — Traditions can evolve. Don’t be afraid to simplify or say no.
Share your limits — You don’t have to host every meal or meet every need. Boundaries are healthy.
As Sam puts it, kindness and community should guide all of us.
“Support caregivers the same way you support anyone else. We’re all members of this community. Being a kind neighbor, being open-minded, being respectful—those things matter.”
Caregivers Deserve Fully Lived Lives, Too
We talk a lot about helping individuals with I/DD live real, meaningful, fully lived lives.
But we mean that for caregivers, too.
You matter. Your well-being matters. And your role is not just important—it’s irreplaceable.
Sam is reminded of that often.
“We support people from birth to end of life. Each chapter brings unique challenges and opportunities. Sometimes the biggest support we can give is peace of mind—especially for aging caregivers who want to know their loved one will have a plan in place after they are gone.”
And the small moments matter just as much.
“It’s always good to hear feedback about activities. We’re always looking for new opportunities—skills classes, basketball leagues, garden clubs—whatever helps someone grow or connect.”
Collaboration plays a huge role in creating those experiences.
“Collaboration is one of the most important things,” Sam says. “Kansas City has such a variety of organizations—job services, transportation providers, nonprofits. Working together helps families navigate life with disability more easily.”
And for those who feel unsure where to begin, Sam offers reassurance:
“I hear you and acknowledge that it can be challenging. Please know you’re not alone. There are so many wonderful organizations in our community ready to connect with you—whether it’s information, peer support, financial support or guidance.”
When he looks toward the future, he sees reasons to hope.
“What gives me hope is the wonderful people I work with at eitas and at community-based organizations. So many people are dedicated to helping others and making a positive difference. It’s inspiring to go to work each day and be around people who truly care.”
This holiday season, give yourself permission to rest. To ask for help. To do less. And to lean into the support systems built for you.
We’re here for that. Every season. Especially this one.
Need extra support this season?
Visit eitas.org to explore resources and programs for caregivers in the Kansas City area. You don’t have to navigate the holidays alone.